After many years, I'm going to reveal a terrible secret - I never finished Bioshock.
Ok its not that terrible really but there was something about the game that never really grabbed me. Partly it was the way I was never quite sure where I was going and I would be a further liar if I said that it didn't have something to do with the fact that it kind of scared the crap out of me at times.
Also, I was playing on a crappy ass PC that made the game look like a Heretic mod. Do you see where I'm going with this?
Now, you can play Bioshock anywhere you are - there's just a catch. Or three. You'll have to play it while tap-tapping on a touch screen on your iPad or iPhone and it costs $15 quid. Oh yea, and it looks markedly, hellishly, definitely worse than it did when it first arrived on PC and consoles in 2007. THAT'S SEVEN BLOODY YEARS AGO!
The stylised visuals hold up well for awhile here, there's no doubt the design work done on Bioshock is simply incredible, but once the tralier kicks into high gear it all goes to crap. Where are the textures?! And why do those character models look like something from The Lawnmower Man?
Hey maybe people don't care what their games look like but can you really imagine the fast paced plasmid/shooter gameplay translates well to a touchscreen. And they even recommend that you play this on a fecking iPhone 5!
I am aghast.
Bioshock is on the US app store now for $15. It's probably crap.