Because his father was Gipsy Danger. And that’s why the Transformers are drawn to him. Because he has an innate affinity with their kind. And his first name is Cade because if Marky Mark doesn’t have the coolest sounding name in a Blockbuster about napalm spewing metal Tyranosaurs, then there will be hell to pay!
In this first clip of Age of Extinction, Frasier and Marky Mark say very clichéd things at one another in a glass room across a chrome table. Nothing explodes, unless you count my hope for a slightly improved dramatic experience from Bay. That hope now lies in smouldering shards at the boots of Cade Jaeger, everyman barn-owner who has biceps like beach-balls and is nonplussed by the fact he happens to be best friends with a towering battle-robot.
Not a single feckin’ pluss about him, like!
Transformer: Age of Extinction is out at some time* in some place for some reason and you’re probably going to go and see it and then hate yourself for making the same mistake for the fourth time in a goddamn row.