Three idiots set off to find $830,000 to save the orphanage where they live. Other stuff happens.
As the release date for The Three Stooges
approached, word filtered out in reviews from the States that the Farrelly Brothers’
long delayed comedy effort was something of a minor success, a sweet slapstick infused slice of entertainment with wonderful performances and a warm homage to the legacy of the original trio.
My only response is that they must have been watching a different movie.The Three Stooges
is simply appalling. From it’s opening orphan kids song and dance number to a finale which makes use of some exploding flatulence, it batters your eyes, ears, brain and mental health with loud noises, idiotic dialogue, repetitive cartoon violence and barely existent plotting.
I’ll openly admit that I have little previous knowledge of the Stooges
and no fondness for the braying tones and incessant eyepokes which characterised the stream of shorts they churned out from the 30s to the 60s. But at least there was a reason for their gaudy vaudeville style – it was literally born on stage in the 1920s and repeated while the audience (and the original performers) remained.
The original Stooges
may be a holdover from an earlier kind of presentational cinema but that’s no excuse for a movie from 2012. But the Farrellys
don’t even bother to accentuate this style, crafting some basic set pieces that feature little physical skill on the part of the performers nor any sense of scale and energy.
What happened to the Farrellys
? Once rightly feted for the likes of Dumb and Dumber
and There’s Something About Mary
, they haven’t produced a hit in years, foundering with titles like The Heartbreak Kid
and Hall Pass
. They’ve been pursuing a big screen version of the Stooges
for more than a decade – at one time attracting Sean Penn
, Jim Carrey
and Benicio del Toro
as their leads. Needless to say, they all sidestepped away from the project before shooting. They probably read the script.
In the place of these internationally renowned superstars you get the other guy from Will & Grace
. I’m sticking with Sean Hayes
because he’s easily the most recognisable of a trio otherwise composed of Chris Diamantopoulos
and Will Sasso
. See? In truth, they all seem to be giving the roles their all, slapping and poking and smacking and gurning and making indecipherable noises with all the gusto they can muster. The main problem – they’re insufferable while doing so.
The supporting cast is a little more starry – there’s Larry David
as a nun (what wit!), Jane Lynch
playing nice for a change and Sofia Vergara
in a bitchy role which is the best thing the film can muster. You’ll even catch a glimpse of an oddly ageless Jennifer Hudson
and, wait for it, the cast of Jersey Shore
, who pop up to support a plotline that sees Moe (Diamantopoulos
) appearing on the show. Yes this actually happens.
If you like the idea of watching three mentally deficient thirty-five year old men wandering around while physically abusing eachother, getting involved in a murder, nearly asphyxiating a dolphin, beating the shit out of Larry David
, giving air time to Jersey Shore
and setting their own farts on fire then you still shouldn’t see The Three Stooges because it’s so cackhandedly presented as to neuter any real sense of fun.
A runner for the worst film of the year. Avoid it by auto-blinding if necessary.