Top 5 Ulysses' that have nothing to do with James Joyce


Top 5 Ulysses' that have nothing to do with James Joyce
To celebrate Bloomsday. I hope that was obvious…

It’s Goddamn Bloomsday.
Happy Goddamn Bloomsday.

And what better way to celebrate one of the most pretentious and inaccessible* literary works ever written than by dressing up in the style of the adventurous main character and generally have a bit of a lovely day. Well, you could always read this article which addresses five other things called Ulysses that were, in fact, pretty neat. Just sayin’…

*The adjectives ambitious, influential and meticulously crafted could also be subbed in here also

Name - Ulysses 31

Year – 1981-1982

Bloom Rating – 5 out of 5 Leopold Blooms

The obvious choice but there can be no denying Space Jesus, especially when he has a gun that also turns into a lightsaber. Also, that girl is blue – I forgot there was a blue girl in it.

Name – Ulysses

Year – 1990

Bloom Rating – 3 out of 5 Leopold Blooms

This robotic space probe was launched to orbit the goddamn Sun and study up on its latitudes. And junk. This has little enough to do with James Joyce. (Arguably more to do with Dante though, switching from a Greek to Latin name to better reflect the ‘Inferno’ analogy.) It still counts though. Also, considering it was in operation for 19 years and left the plane of the goddamn solar system, it’s pretty boss!

Name – Odysseus

Year – 2004

Bloom Rating – 2 out of 5 Leopold Blooms

No Cyclops. No sirens. No voyage. Yeah, sure, there was a wooden horse in Troy, and he was portrayed by Sean Bean. But Greek Name Ulysses didn’t even die in this one. Not that Ulysses dies, but Sean Bean does. It’s a contractual stipulation in his every work. For Shame!

Name – Ulysses III

Year – 2013

Bloom Rating – 1 out of 5 Leopold Blooms

Alright, admittedly I was struggling at this point. The fact is Ulysses III is a text editor for Mac OSX. It’s targeted at creative sorts who just want to get their mind juices a-flowing and not worry about grammar and punctuation and all that bollox. The sole link it shares with either Homer’s Odyssey or Joyce’s Ulysses is the fact it’s a vaguely literary endeavour.
But hell, it aint my fault if pickings are slim…

Name – Ulysses Everett Mc Gill

Year – 2000

Bloom rating – 5 out of 5 Leopold Blooms

A man on a long quest, evading the call of sirens and one eyed foes, in a bid to return and potentially re-win (it was olden times, gimme a break) his wife before she remarries – those be some full on Ulysses type japes right there, son!

Oh Brother, Where Art You pips Ulysses 31 to the post just by the merit that it wasn’t utter dross. Sorry nostalgia fans, if it was an 80s cartoon aimed at children, it was garbage. That’s just science.

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