It’s Goddamn Bloomsday.
Happy Goddamn Bloomsday.
And what better way to celebrate one of the most pretentious and inaccessible* literary works ever written than by dressing up in the style of the adventurous main character and generally have a bit of a lovely day. Well, you could always read this article which addresses five other things called Ulysses that were, in fact, pretty neat. Just sayin’…
*The adjectives ambitious, influential and meticulously crafted could also be subbed in here also
Name - Ulysses 31
Year – 1981-1982
Bloom Rating – 5 out of 5 Leopold Blooms
The obvious choice but there can be no denying Space Jesus, especially when he has a gun that also turns into a lightsaber. Also, that girl is blue – I forgot there was a blue girl in it.
Name – Ulysses
Year – 1990
Bloom Rating – 3 out of 5 Leopold Blooms
This robotic space probe was launched to orbit the goddamn Sun and study up on its latitudes. And junk. This has little enough to do with James Joyce. (Arguably more to do with Dante though, switching from a Greek to Latin name to better reflect the ‘Inferno’ analogy.) It still counts though. Also, considering it was in operation for 19 years and left the plane of the goddamn solar system, it’s pretty boss!
Name – Odysseus
Year – 2004
Bloom Rating – 2 out of 5 Leopold Blooms
No Cyclops. No sirens. No voyage. Yeah, sure, there was a wooden horse in Troy, and he was portrayed by Sean Bean. But Greek Name Ulysses didn’t even die in this one. Not that Ulysses dies, but Sean Bean does. It’s a contractual stipulation in his every work. For Shame!
Name – Ulysses III
Year – 2013
Bloom Rating – 1 out of 5 Leopold Blooms
Alright, admittedly I was struggling at this point. The fact is Ulysses III is a text editor for Mac OSX. It’s targeted at creative sorts who just want to get their mind juices a-flowing and not worry about grammar and punctuation and all that bollox. The sole link it shares with either Homer’s Odyssey or Joyce’s Ulysses is the fact it’s a vaguely literary endeavour.
But hell, it aint my fault if pickings are slim…
Name – Ulysses Everett Mc Gill
Year – 2000
Bloom rating – 5 out of 5 Leopold Blooms
A man on a long quest, evading the call of sirens and one eyed foes, in a bid to return and potentially re-win (it was olden times, gimme a break) his wife before she remarries – those be some full on Ulysses type japes right there, son!
Oh Brother, Where Art You pips Ulysses 31 to the post just by the merit that it wasn’t utter dross. Sorry nostalgia fans, if it was an 80s cartoon aimed at children, it was garbage. That’s just science.